Love me

Since a little girl, I remember just wanting to be loved. I wanted to be admired and favored. I wanted people to look at me and smile and tell me how pretty I am. I grew up desiring that from a man.

Not having that cup filled made me want to fill that void. I sought after a man who could do just that. He didn't have to have much or do much, we just had to tell me that he admired me. Well, I got that over and over again. Right before they cheated over and over again. This made me feel even more unattractive and unworthy. Where was I lacking in order for me to keep getting cheated on?

It wasn't until I built up my relationship with my heavenly Father that I started to feel fulfilled. I felt real love. I felt beautiful. I felt safe. I felt needed and admired. To feel all that by someone you can't see was hard for me at first, but once I learned to shut my eyes and just allow my other senses to take over, I could feel it. As if my God was right there holding me, I could feel the love that he had for me. To think that he was there this whole time and I could have saved myself from so much pain.

I'll never get this kind of love from man. I no longer desire it. To know that God adores me and desires me on this Earth has truly helped me to love and appreciate myself. I was created for a specific purpose. I am special. Now having this void filled results in me having better and longer relationships with people. People are flawed. Alot of people hurt on the inside and some display that hurt by hurting you. It's not personal and it's often spiritual.

I pray that those hurting internally will find the love that I did. Some of us cry quietly and search for fulfillment from someone who is unable to complete that task.

Work on loving yourself, before seeking it from a companion. First, work on that relationship with God.

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